We were desperate for a spot to land for a couple of nights as we prepared to departed Big Bend . Karen and I drove from our Rio Grande campground toVerizon hill in search of a signal and tried to ignore the real campers who strode by in confident search of becoming one with nature, as we pecked away in google search mode. I wanted to yell out the window ” we’re trying to reserve our next spot! Not surfing Amazon and faceplant!” But that was not 100% true………I got “shiny rock syndrome ” more than once as I researched RV parks on the upcoming route. I must admit that I weakened at the sight of more than one RV accessory pop up ad……” oh look! Another widget I don’t need that won’t fit in the basements of the 5er! I better get two”. Karen: ” how you coming on that search? Me: “Their site is very slow loading honey, you know I’m doin the best I can here” followed by frantic clicking.
Karen made quick work of her family accounting and banking work as I ordered several items that Karen refers to as yard CRAP, I think the figurines on a rod you put in the ground with a spring that allows them to dance in the wind are cute……who can resist a leprechaun? A Welcome to our camper bouncy sign? And Karen’s arch nemesis……pink Flamingos? And then…..the lure of WordPress………my new personal crack like addiction …beckons …….like a lover in the night…..or like a Resses cup in the Food Lion checkout…….I must check my WordPress stats! As I await the loading page,I day dream of Karen and I boarding our yacht , .
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.Our driver Jeeves steadies Karen’s arm as she boards……… mindful of the slowly turning rotor blades as the crew does the daily inspection on the heilo pad. I’m snapped to reality ……
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.as WordPress opens and revels that only my wife and a few close friends………..All right…one other person I know …have read my latest installment of Round The Bend ……my travel blog! How am I ever gonna get Viagra, the people who market the copper frying pans 
and the clapper light switch to ever advertise on my blog if nobody ever clicks on it!! Just then I notice Karen giving me the hairy eyeball……….. I point and comment on the magnificent mountains and the cascading light…………..
as I click out of my scribe cocaine . I assure Karen we are all set ! Terlingua Ranch , here we come!
“Kelly why the hell is the navigation icon pointing way off the road …into the desert? I thought you said this place was right off the highway?”
I had said it was just off the highway….because I had no clue, of, well…where it was, so I assumed. In retrospect this may have been folly on my part. …assuming….Their website said they had a restaurant and a pool …… I should have become suspicious when I noted the pictures showed people eating in the restaurant with high waisted polyester pants and wide collared shirts……and the women…who appeared to frolic in the pool…..all had hair like the cast of Charlie’s Angel’s!! It was becoming evident that even with my keen eye for detail……..I’d fallen victim to “out dated website syndrome”…….
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ah well ,how bad could it be? As we turned off 118 at the sign announcing Terlingua Ranch this way!……..16 miles straight into the desert….WTH!! The weather beaten sign swayed in the constant breeze as the sand whipped up and pecked away at the paint of a decade ago………this was shaping up to be an episode of :.
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Karen , to her credit gave a muted laugh….or was it a scoff?? The fairly new blacktop gave me hope that I had not booked us into something from the movie “Hostel”……I hope not because if someone tried lopping off Karen’s digits with pruning shears ………we’d all be in big trouble!
Karen and I chuckled at the abandoned pick up cabs at someone’s gate, an attempt at some avant-garde art…….that didn’t quite work…at least not on us. The road on either side had everything from abandoned adobe huts to well appointed haciendas…….the double wide trailer with curtains dancing at the broken window seemed to be the more recommend HOA abode,outnumbering all others 10 to 1.
Our 16 miles of blacktop turned to dirt……washboard dirt…….5ers don’t do well on washboard dirt roads……5er owners fair even more poorly. After 3 miles of me trying to find a speed that had any result other than knocking out our fillings or causing the 5er to try and pass the pickup…..we mercifully….arrived. The Ranch office was manned by Clyde, a pleasant fellow who informed us that we’d never fit in spot number 3……#3 is the spot that Carol assured me was perfect on the phone!! For $3 more , Clyde hooked us up in the last spot available! The 3 day weekend had brought everyone out to The Ranch according to Clyde. Everyone included enthusiast of horses,fat bikes,four wheelers, side by sides, and of course the Jeepsters! The Jeep folks travel in groups and seemed to enjoy a brew or two or 8 after a day making dust for the rest of us to enjoy. In defense of the Jeepsters, The Ranch caters to people who wanna come out to the desert mountains and…..tear it up, its not set up for old fat guys like me who want to sit in a lawn chair swilling beer waiting for the girls from Charlie’s Angel’s to stroll by.
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They never showed…..
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The Ranch was an ok place after all……I got bored and climbed a near by hill, it was quite a hike….after an hour of climbing, I could barely make out the license plate numbers on the truck….that’s when I realized I had covered some ground! 40 maybe 50 yards!
This hiking was serious business.
Step back in time and come enjoy the Terlingua Ranch! The people are cool and some are also retro!
Don’t forget the Jeep!
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Round the bend 