BLM land, rusty cans and stickers,stickers and more stickers

Karen and Jim found the much ballyhooed BLM land near Congress Az. and both crews where excited to test the dry camping part of our extended RV trip. I can tell you that BLM camping is free ,so folks like us …..let’s call us “monetarily prudent consumers” or MPC ‘s ……………

or cheap bastards for short …….we really dig this.

When Karen and I had the “Mc 5er” in for repair in Tucson we stayed at the Resort KOA right next door …….$60 a night!

the KOA had a Country Club feel as we rolled up to the registration parking lane, the guy in the $450,000 class A MOTORHOME ahead of me removed his smoking jacket when he exited his rig has and stared in horror as I recovered the partially collapsed garbage can from under the “Mc5er”. *I thought I had the “turn” figured out but that was apparently ill founded exuberance.

I watched in the side view mirror as the can was sucked under the tires and the contents squirted out like so much toothpaste. I tried to remain nonchalant as I exited the truck but it’s hard to have any dignity after jumping the curb and squashing a can 5 feet up on the sidewalk. To add to my embarrassment , the can would no longer stay upright on its own, and the contents I’d recovered kept spilling out.!! I dragged the can to a nearby palm tree and began to prop it up when two golf carts screeched to a halt at my feet. Two guys who looked like connected guys from the east……….dressed in starched coveralls adorned with a GIANT KOA logo jumped out ……and wrenched the can from my grip and tossed it in the back and replaced it with a shiny new one! They were gone in seconds ,moving with the precision of a Indy pit crew! Apparently this KOA is use to greenhorns like myself.

I strode to the double doors in the hopes that Mr. Howell was in the can, much to my disappointment…old smoking jacket was delighting the desk clerk with tales of rugged adventure that he and his wife ,”Lovey “barely survived in their teakwood, granite and Italian tile “camper”Mr. Howell gave me a condescending look and added a slight head shake that said “Can you believe this moron”??l. Nothing like good old fashioned public humiliation to get your day started off on the right foot!

Fortunately Judy, the lovely lady at the desk asked ” Did Jim and Robert take care of the defective waste receptacle ? I’m so sorry that we put those so close to the curb, if there is any damage to your unit we will be happy to have it repaired” I stared at her trying to process how me almost driving thru the reception area …to run over this can was not my fault…then…. Thurston gave a little throaty chuckle..

Thats it!!!.

”

I’m going yard on this buffoon!

***

I grabbed Thurston by the forearm and wrenched the pinky ring off his

Well.

His pinky.

His fat little steak tar tar, imported smoked salmon eating finger was so fat that

The ring didn’t wanna come off!

I think I may have cut Mr Howell’s finger****

“I was poised to shove that pinky ring up Mr.Stuffys nose when:

Sir?

May I help you?

It was another one of them there “Final Destination ” visions again!! It was a “daydream “!

As pinky ring slinked out the door,I turned to Judy and said “Why thank you mam, we’d like to check in”

Judy told us about all the amenities that a resort KOA has to offer!

A giant laundry facility , three restaurants, an arcade , pickle ball, 9 hole putting greens,a bar with extremely expensive watered down drinks,a gift shop 3 dog parks,2 ponds, power parasols……..whatever the hell that is, food delivery, private fire pit rental, game room, 2 pools, workout center, bike rental,cable tv, WiFi, 2 snack bars, mini golf, outdoor theater, life size replica of the Mir space station….

alright……maybe they don’t have that…..but…..this place was ridiculous. I’m not sure what you call this place…but it’s not camping…….the place that removed my hip was not this fancy.

But back to BLM CAMPING!

The BLM camping didn’t have putting greens but it did have endless piles of cans and assorted debris that we all spent time walking thru, with Jim ,Cherokee and I spending hours and miles of walking….in search of ……….

.perhaps

The lost Dutchman mine!!

Little did we know…we were no where near the Lost Dutchman Mine!

Wait a minute……we knew that!!,

anyway….we spent hours walking the dump piles….Jim and I had a blast.

We went golfing too…not putt putt golf like a KOA but real golf

Well …..this looks like we’re drinking……..which……we are….but we did golf…I just don’t have any pictures.

Wickenburg Country Club was a bit spendy for tastes, but the course was nice,the people were nice and the bartender Christie was great, much better than a KOA

We had wildlife too!and views!and a gluten free plan,!,!and Jim parking a little close to the stove…….you’d think a firefighter would know betterand shockingly enough bloodies !!!