We arrived at Lake Mead Boulder Beach campground at 10:30 ish only to Be told its 9:30 ish!!! Time changes are like Minut Man Oil in Rockport Tx and hiking….BS!
The time zone thing has been more of a annoyance than I imagined…..on a normal 1-2 week trip , you fly to Mexico or wherever,change your watch and your done…..this has been strange as you are doing this more frequently than normal and you got watches and phones and atomic clocks that just start spinning like you are on a Twilight Zone episode………sometimes,they’ll spin back the other way moments later……this is especially disturbing and confusing if you are waist deep in happy hour.
I suppose if that’s all I got to snivel about I’m doing good.
That said….my life is perfect…….Compared to others……While on a little bike ride thru the Lake Mead campground…..when I say little….I mean little…300 – 400 yards tops! I mean your beer is empty by then,!! While on one of my “rides” through the campground…which all look the same…..but the people are always different and that’s worth the pedal……You have meatheads in wife beaters swilling crappy beer,barking at their kids…and also fathers creating a memory for their whole family……ya also got everything and every age in between, VERY EXPENSIVE RIGS
to more modest rigs
As I tried to sip my beer AND NOT crash while going 3MPH , I heard an almost primal scream followed by frantic gibberish…….I tuned in my hearing aids…….” Frank, oh Jesus Christ Frank! NOT AGAIN!” I looked in the direction of the voices and saw camper after camper……from multiple campsites…Turning…..as one…….looking…….it was like a ripple in a pond. As the closest campers turned to look…..then graduated to understanding what Frank did…the mothers gathered children ……..and the next radius of campers outwards repeated the turn,the look, the gathering and the gasp of horror. At that moment a unmistakable odor washed thru the trees like a sewage tsunami…….holly shit!! Frank dumped his black water!
I could hear the not so sympathetic admonishments being bellowed by the wife”No Frank no….not in the camper!!……go to the campground toilets!! The little woman didn’t want old Frankie boy going in the camper covered in poop!! Frank looked at the camper………sooooo close……and the outhouse……..guarded by once happy families of campers….and also 100 yards away!! Frank steeled himself to the task at hand, the little woman had declared the camper off limits to anyone named Frank who also happened to be covered in poop and toilet paper….Frank started to walk then trot
Then run
Then sprint.
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As the campers moved gear and grills and camp chairs in an frantic effort to get Frank the hell outta their campsite and into the next poor group. I could make out Frank, crashing through
Camps and underbrush………and then Frank could take it no longer
He started to strip
Yes strip
Frank had to be 150# overweight
Mothers covered their children’s eyes
As Frank tumbled through one of those see thru play pens…….crushing the supports and covering the padded interior with……..well you know…..Poop!………..they’ll have to burn that thing.
Frank did a nice barrel roll thru the playpen
And emerged shirtless.
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the poo covered shirt landed with a splat on some poor unfortunate bastards grill.
Mothers hugged their children tight and turned as one ,away from the carnage……
Unable to watch anymore I peddled the long 300 yards home.
The next morning…Frank and his wife and rig were gone, most all of the park campsites near Franks were abandoned……..the two State Park employees didn’t seem fazed as they held tight to the hose affixed to the hydrant……trying to dilute the giant “brown” zone……….I’d recommend not camping in the NW end of the Boulder Beach campground until after the rainy season..
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Special thanks to my cousin and my dear aunt Mary who inspired this tale of woe.Karen and I were lucky enough to have lunch in Henderson where these two, who recounted a true story of someone they know who pulled a Frank.
It was great to reconnect with these wonderful people after 40+ years,they/we are older but their wonderful smiles and heartfelt laughter was just as pleasing to the eyes and ears as when I was a young boy.
Reach out today,to a relative , or old friend……..rekindle the relationship/ friendship
How cool would that be??
ps I love the Stooges , Green Acres and The Beverly Hillbillies to name just a few.
Round the bend 