Valley of Fire State Park Nevada! Teenagers and better safe than sorry!

Most if not all of my numerous followers……………..well……both of you, know that I’m not too keen on hiking. I loath it, I’d rather have indigestion than go on a hike .

But!

The Valley Of Fire is Absolutely incredible! I know people say that all the time about stuff.

It was fabulous!

It was the most moving experience ever!

It was almost a religious experience!

And we all go “yeah right”

Well Valley of Fire is all that and a bag of chips! So piss off.

We also visited Bryce Canyon and it is breathtaking as well! We went to Zion National Park too, Zion is another example of the wonders of nature…..totally worth a visit, but unfortunately Zion suffers from her own fame and is quite busy/crowded…….even when it’s what the rangers and workers call “dead”

VOF was 97 degrees on Saturday!

Shade is important, especially after hiking over 150 yards!

On Monday near Bryce Canyon we got 34 degrees!WTH!

natural bridge!one day we saw Morrison!!

alright maybe it was just a “regular lizard”

At VOF I wanted to climb this huge rock/hill/thing we were camping near, but it was tall……..and I didn’t wanna have to change shoes……and I was drinking beer……and Karen said “No! You’ll fall and break your neck”…….but mostly….I’m too lazy.

So I did what most lazy people do, I paid a teenager in the next camp spot to crawl up there while wearing my hat so I could take a picture of myself. The little bugger demanded $5! I figured what the hell, I get to lay in the hammock in the shade drinking beer!

Unfortunately that’s a combination that puts old fat guys to sleep……….crap! I awoke to junior standing over me with a sneer demanding his fiver! When I told junior that I nodded off and never got the picture …he said “not my problem gramps, fork over the five bucks….and here’s your old codger hat” ! He tossed the hat into my FACE! Why the little ingrate! Didn’t he know that I’m his elder? It would appear that Junior never got that memo

I sprung to my feet……..alright,maybe I rolled out of the hammock onto the dirt and grabbed his left wrist to help pull my fat ass upright.

Kid: alright already gramps…..give me the fiver or I’ll tell my dad

While applying a vise like grip to his left wrist…….alright…….maybe not vise like,but I’m sure it was firm…..just as my abs were in the 70’s….then………my right hand shot out like:.

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and I had his left nipple in a 100% on target titty twister! He gave yelp,and I reduced the pressure……..but held him in the “tap out”hold

As I glanced over his left shoulder I could see his dad expertly dropping tonight’s burgers tru the grill onto the grey coals…….he had bigger problems than worrying about a fellow fossil like me

Me: this is how it’s gonna be kid, your gonna march your scrawny ass back up that hill and wait for my signal

I gave a slight twist of juniors nip to make sure he got the message,and bounced the hat off his face.in the end I gave junior $20……… because back in my day…if I was him…I woulda snuck in under The cover of darkness and let the air outta his tires if he gave me a titty twister and screwed me outta my money.

In this day and age I suppose I can look forward to a call in 30 years from a lawyer and the media informing me that junior was never able to overcome the trauma of the TT…..and he just remembered it happen…….after 30 years….after he saw the guy on the news who got 300 million because he got a snuggie in gym class in 1969.

anyway

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Get out there and explore………there is a big wonderful world beyond our own backyard………watch out for lizards…..and the much more dangerous creature

Teenagers!