So a short list of what has been destroyed and or consumed by our extremely lovable canines( by no means comprehensive)
Arizona Gazetteer….Texas Gazetteer….Wyoming Gazetteer….Phoenix map X 3……TV Remote……4 pair of Kellys golf socks….Soft sided Steelers cooler…………5 x 7 area rug………3’ tall southwestern vase……electrical wiring to heated/massage theater lounger……two throw pillows….rear passengers seatbelt out of a 2018 F-250…….Orvis dog hammock for Ford F-250….F-250(kidding)…….137 page manual for solar charge controller…..4 drip irrigation heads……3.5 tons of landscape rock…..yard/landscaping of $450,000 Arizona home we will never be invited back to……many many many receipts (staples included)……RV sewer valve cap…….EVERYTHING made of cardboard…..SIL’s yard in Baton Rouge….ball point pen
It’s been almost 5 months for Karen and I AND the pups to be away from home……we have to keep reminding each other…..er well….Karen has to keep reminding me that they are only 9 months old. We have been fortunate that Etta and Otis travel well in the back seat…entertained by ….whatever fits in their mouth….pens…maps…seatbelts…the “cone” we bought for Otis to wear after being neutered ….yes…he ate the “cone”.
Karen’s sister and her wife may just write us out of the will after we scheduled the neutering and spay operations for Monday and then booked a flight to Cancun for Wednesday…….. I think there is a special place in hell for people like us……..knowing that we were bound for eternal damnation for leaving stitched up pups with relatives with full time careers………so we self medicated with margaritas daily in Playa Del Carmen to avoid the thought of our dastardly and cowardly deed.
Fortunately we all survived ….even if we are no longer welcome in the state of Louisiana.
We really did have a great time with Kathryn and Irina in Baton Rouge…..parades……drinking….binge watching Netflix….eating HIGH cholesterol food….parades….drinking…..repeat,repeat until we found a human liver cowering in the corner of the living room one morning as we sipped Brendons and coffee…….the liver…..whimpering…and muttering…over and over again….” no….no more…..please….OH GOD* no more”. We ascertained that the liver must have escaped from one of last nights party participants….perhaps Alan…..or maybe Greg….or Nathen…..not our problem we decided……and refilled our mugs and an extra cup for our new pal…Mr. Liver
With the impending “cower in place “ order for Louisiana hanging in the balance…we made a dash for Texas before the order came down…….and while we didn’t want to leave Kathryn and Irina and all our great friends……that damn liver was starting to creep us out, he was a twisted looking bastard…and crazy eyes….we struck out at day break ,headed west for the promise of better things…a land…the rumors said………of plentiful Lysol wipes….where troubles melt like lemon drops high above the chimney tops…where TP is on the back of every pot…………………we arrived at Village Creek State park in a drizzle that….as luck would have it………..shit lasted the entire three days we were there….but we had ample supplies. (Doritos, beer)….The social distancing thing was taking hold of all of us…almost subconsciously….you found yourself greeting the next camper…from afar…or at least a few feet more than normal….very strange times…..but everyone we came across….had an air of “we’ll get thru this”…Im sure all nations claim this bravado as their own…but I’m an American and i claim we invented BRAVADO and I know this too shall pass…………we got news that Louisiana gave the “drink in place “order as we pulled into Galveston State park
The road was a sound stage for TWD….not a soul in sight…..not even a liver….we pulled up to the deserted Ranger booth to check in and were happy to see a “out to lunch “ sign as opposed to Carl or Glenn laying about……Good camp ground with water and electric…Otis and Etta got to experience the ocean for the first time
Dad will be impressed later when all that salt water gives me the screamers!!!!!!!!
Yes….Otis…and ..then Etta…..got the screamers
But at least there were no more blue ink pens eaten
Be safe…be kind….and help one another…its fun…..living is fun….be a liver!!!
* SPECIAL THANKS TO IRINA
Round the bend 
Wait, they ate a soft-sided Steeler cooler, and were not euthanized? Impaired judgement on your part, I should say. You will wish you still had that when you speak about what the NFL was to the young-ins in the apocalypse. When all we have is Rollerball with Cyborg James Caan, as the Star.
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