As both of my loyal followers know, Karen and I head south each fall
in my loosely veiled claim that “my arthritis just can’t take the cold anymore”……the reality is I’m too lazy to shovel snow,I’m too cheap to pay someone and I can’t display my really crappy golf game in the snow!!
So like the last few years……we “staged” gear and items in a corner of our dinning room until the white rain and temperature signaled the moment was upon us to load up the Mc 5er and get the hell out!!! The gear pile started benign enough as Karen neatly boxed and stacked a dish or bowl or small kitchen appliance that qualified as “oh that would be nice to have down south”….I kept eyeballing this pile as the days slipped away….and became weeks……..as it grew………
each day as I walked past the pile , I would peer out the window and look at our fifth wheel known as the Mc5 er
and back at the pile….like when you try and eyeball the evenings leftovers and decide which Tupperware will contain it all!
My extremely intuitive wife noticed my nervousness and declared “ I got three bowls in that pile! “
What about all that fishing gear and golf crap of YOURS?????
Unable to defend my “pile” which was 5 times the size of Karen…….(not Karen’s pile…but 5 times the size of KAREN)!!!!, I culled the herd with the look of a beaten man………….but not before trying a few old tricks from my 4th string JR High wrestling team days! In an effort to “make weight” some guys would clip their nails….really…….or run around in the hot shower with a rubber suit on trying to “sweat it off” but the worst idea of all was …..
Even I’m not that crazy…..I pulled all the 2-3 -4 -5-6-7-8 and 9 irons along with ALL THE WEDGES out of the golf bags as I can’t hit any of those clubs anyway…we also removed the very uncomfortable couch from the Mc 5er
AND removed the spare tire……hey…thats what we pay AAA for!!!
Now we were almost within striking distance of the safe towing weight!!!!
Our trip south was strangely uneventful???? A true curiosity for Karen and I……I’m usually able to interact with some human who should be put down or at least excluded from procreating because they have mashed potatos for brains ….or I exhibit my own brand of stupidity….thus supplying myself with unlimited material for these useless blogs……but alas stupidity was on vacation……or at the least in hiding!!!
I searched all across the state of Utah for stupid as we visited Moab , The Canyonlands N.P. And the Arches N.P.
I will say the liquor laws in Utah are perhaps stupid but certainly bizarre ……….thanks so much for protecting me from myself by not opening the bar until 4 pm …..WTH!!!
We (Karen) secured a reservation at a Moab RV resort!!!!!
Not exactly our style……….being from Wyoming we prefer….elbow room…….open space camping …disperse camping…..we don’t mind being able to see other campers…….we just prefer not to be sooooo close that we can SMELL them……We made the best of it with day trips to the wonderful National Parks nearby and the breathtaking scenery.Only trouble with National Parks is they are policed by policies designed to protect the natural beauty from the moron masses…
this leaves those of us who have an I.Q. OVER 75…….
feeling a bit over policed , we travel with our dogs, Etta & Otis. You may have read about them……..if so ,you understand why we think long and hard before leaving them on their own……must be how my folks felt leaving four teenage sons alone in a house with a unlocked liquor cabinet and strike anywhere stick matches laying around…..
Anyway N.P’s do not allow animals on any of the trails…….and they MUST BE LEASHED AT ALL TIMES!!!!!!
certainly a good rules………but a pain in the ass for people like us with perfectly well behaved children .
The Twins
Needed a place where they could run….so we headed to BLM land in Arizona.
We played fetch
I’m gonna have to lay off the beer before fetch……
We walked in the woods and enjoyed a favorite Wyoming pastime
But alas….we soon longed for out destination….Moon Pond Az.!!! A oasis in the desert !! A 55+ community chalked full of characters!!! And I suspect a veritable HOTBED of blogging material!!
The gated community has rules and shit…..like gates maned by The Patrol
The Patrol….near as I can tell is staffed by folks with some law enforcement back ground but just plain clothes and no…badges
I speculate that you don’t wanna get on the naughty list with Patrol!!
Soon our social calendar was teeming with activities!!!! Gala events! Golf! Dinner Parties! Golf! The Pool! Golf!……..the thing with golf is…..it really is just an excuse to drink beer at 11 o’clock in the morning and cuss and smoke cigars, and drink whiskey and cuss and then….it you have time…..you whack that infuriating little white sphere…..and if you are like me…shortly after impact you moan “ Not OVER THERE! What are you doing going over THERE??????????”
We are firmly settled in now…..but I will tell you that vacuuming fake grass in the yard instead of mowing is a little bizarre ………and chasing leaves around and around with a leaf blower is a new experience for me…….most people down here hire this shit done…….but I can’t play golf poorly EVERY day
I know this rambling was more disjointed and discombobulated than a Trump/Biden speech and for that I apologize.
Round the bend 