Albuquerque………..and other bad decisions

Not sure what possessed us to return to Wyoming in the throws of winter………and leave behind the HOA themed palm trees of Moon Pond

I suppose it was/is a love of family………..I try and remember that we have a limited time on this earth….so we should try and embrace our opportunities……..these “Hallmark” thoughts are hard to remember when the wind is blowing in Wyoming….welllll it started in Colorado…..around Craig…it was like…..

Then we crossed into Baggs Wyoming

When you couple the wind…the relentless wind with cold winter temperatures………..it make one question our ability to reason……….perhaps we are just stupid…………..that’s probably it.

The draw of seeing friends and family and spending quality time during the Christmas holidays is extremely powerful

Our Christmas was quite wonderful…….a fine dinner of Prime rib with all the fixings…….we enjoyed great conversation and avoided any talk of politics…..in an effort to bypass the incident of a few Christmas’s back

Of course now days any talk of religion sex politics pro choice pro life Darwinism sexual orientation or even lumpy gravy VS creamy gravy can lead to hurt feelings

Anyway, we also spent a fabulous night with our great friends

whose cabin is in the Big Horn mountains……..and we mighta….. …….drank a bit too much….

Also froze our ass off

Our plan to stay in Wyoming for ~10 days abruptly changed as the forecast stubbornly predicted continued wind and cold!

We had enough…………..but we clung to the visual memories of Christmas dinner that was in our heads like the 16 millimeter movies

uncle Zapruder

Would endless replay each holiday

With happy thoughts ,we loaded the truck and headed south…..kept warm by the hope of endless sunshine, unloseable golfballs and welcomed perspiration.

We made it to Albuquerque the first night thanks to great weather……..Karen had googled “safe hotels in Albuquerque “ after reading that Albuquerque is rated DANGEROUS by whoever compiles crime data.In Karen’s defense finding a hotel that will take twin Labra doodles AND provide some level of safety from the masses that feel your money is THEIR money…..is a tall order. It’s New Year’s Eve!!!! What could go wrong????

I eyeballed the idling black BMW that backed in next to our F250 in the ECONO-LODGE parking lot as we unloaded dogs….dog gearbags……dog bowls…..dog beds…..dog water…dog food and a envelope that contained Karen and I’s personal items…….we had to downsize………….you know….the twins take up a lotta room. Anyway…..by the third trip to the truck another sedan was backed up next to the BMW and what appeared to be ,to this reporter ….a HOOKER!!!!!! Leaning in the window.

Now before all you people who aren’t a cynical jaded grumpy old man like me start complaining that I’m disrespectful for unjustly categorizing this HUMANIOD as a STREET WALKER!!!!….let me give you a bit of detail in an effort to add some clarity for those of you unable to identify a duck when it quacks……..The HUMAN…..PERSON…..had thigh high leather boots on…..

a mini skirts soooo short it revealed to this recently blinded reporter that this person should still be using the men’s room!!!! Think about what I just said…..and Let it sink in.

In desperate need of a drink I scrambled past the negotiations…or whatever it was ,toward the 7-11 just next door…my head now on a swivel……… I try and amble across the concrete past the pumps in an effort to NOT look like FRESH MEAT!! as a dude in a dark color Volvo hops out and beckons me over……my 61 year old brain screaming “ HOLY F***ING SH*T”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TELL myself…..be cool…be tough….be bad….just like in your 20’s!!!! My brain corrects itself……..you were never cool,tough or bad….so give it up gramps!!! I wanted to run to the safety of the light spilling thru the glass door of the 7-11….but…..I’m 61…….I don’t…can’t run….so I shuffle

…..quickly….old guy quickly

The bars on the 7-11 door are cold as my arthritic phalanges hook around the steel ,their permanent twist a reminder of a bar fight or two a lifetime ago,back when I wasn’t smart enough to be scared.I yank on the unyielding door as the Bud Light sign clangs to and fro on the inside……and the clerk gives a bored stare thru the cloudy glass back at me like I’m a specimen in a zoo. I finally notice the Push sign and trip my way across the threshold, my over the shoulder glance reveals my pursuer has pealed off pursuit like a vulture who decides to wait for a cleaner opportunity.

Once inside I notice two cops giving some clown the third degree

I breathed a sigh of relief…..now that there are cops so close, I shouldn’t have any problems!….I pay for my coke and slide out the side door keeping the building between me and the Black Volvo . I slink around the building and come nose to nose with this guy

He says something about “pen- day- hose” and gives me a shove……I quicken my stride a bit

As I reach the Econo – Lodge door I hear pop pop pop! Too frightened to turn and look….I can only imagine!

The 12 year old kid running the front desk says “ DUDE was that your hip making that popping sound ?”

I was unable to focus as I did the mental math on this kids ink…..

he had more wrapped up in “body art” than i spent on my first new pick up in 1987 I then realize it wasn’t gun fire but my prosthetic hip that was making its occasional noises ……..you know like when you pull a rusty nail out of an old 2 x 4 or when you pop your finger in your cheek

I sprinted ………..alright….I shuffled

back towards our room….a nirvana like vestibule of sanity……complete with my lovely wife and two deranged dogs ……not everything can be perfect……my eye detects movement above

Just some woman doing yoga on the balcony above asking if I wanted any company………..I got the perfect company back at the room lady!!!

The food and folks in Albuquerque are great…..weeelll the non criminal folks are great……….but I recommend staying in after dark and maybe do some yoga