OOPS! I did it again!

I didn’t break anybody’s heart but I did book air travel again! Air travel is a necessary evil of life, like digital exams and being run over by a car. My good friend Pat and I have been waiting to return to Canada for our annual fishing trip since 2019….THANKS A LOT COOTIE EPIDEMIC !!!

With passage of time we forget the high level of frustration and pain that is todays air travel….this is apparently especially true in the male of the species,we don’t remember shit.

Little did I know that Delta airlines was more than up for the challenge and chomping at the bit to get me more wound up than a three dollar watch.

I awoke at 4 am….an hour earlier than planned ,I wish I could say because I was amped up about catching fish ….one right after another, and drinking beer and smokin cigars and walking around in nothing but my briefs and farting a lot . Now I don’t know about you but my wife told me a long time ago that, shirtless undie parades were not permitted, NEIN , No NAY!!!! I think maybe she got a little bit of that stomach bile you get in the back of your throat ,like maybe when you have acid reflux or like when …..ya puke. But I wasn’t amped up about the joys of the catching VERY LARGE FISH!!! I was amped up like when you started your first day of Jr High and you’d heard all the stories of dudes getting depants and their 501’s getting run up the school yard flag pole. Or the fact that I was now going to be in the same building with my nemesis Scott Farkus!!!!! Farkus had been bulling me since the beginning of time or so it felt. But alas I just traveling on Delta! Who slogan oddly enough is Keep Climbing ….as in…..keep climbing till the window you jump out of is high enough that the fall will kill ya.

I bid my lovely wife goodbye and petted our well behaved dogs

I was greeted with a long line at check in after the kiosk refused to cooperate . The nice young lady at the counter told me my reservation was for the 30th…not the 29th………no no no!!! I have 14 emails and texts messages from Delta showing the correct itinerary!!! I swivels my device for her to see as she did the same…..like two chickens pecking in a barnyard, head up head down…….see lady? …see Mister?

Her death blow was not a right hand to the throat……but just a simple phrase that strikes fear into the hearts of customers everywhere!!! “You’ll need to call customer service”

I shelped my bag to the exit unaware of the superhuman level of stupidity I was about to go toe to toe with. The automated voice hell of Customer Service told us that our wait time was only 1 hour and 34 minutes!! I went with the call back option and after 1 hour and 33 minutes we received a callback and were immediately put on hold, 12 minutes later, a voice came on …with some kind of unknown accent and poor enunciation…..I’m deaf…I wear hearing aids….and they help only a little AND make ya look old ……so I cant understand her and I cant hear her either….I glance at Karen with a defeated look, she shoots back a “watch this buster” look. Karen got the rep off balance and on the ropes right away

but she was a formidable foe of limited vocabulary, that consisted of I’m sorry and NO…..Karen’s relentless pounding took a toll on the rep and after 49 minutes…it was over