Not this kinda threes!….they say bad luck or unlucky events come in 3’s I think that myth was perpetuated by some bastard that never had any bad luck!
We ambled across Colorado into Utah and the last leg into AZ and the hope of unlimited sunshine……golf balls that go straight ………and nothing to shovel but your own trash talk on the golf course………Karen booked overnight stays at convenient KOA type campgrounds along the way……when traveling in a RV you try and land somewhere well ahead of happy hour…..partly because you are a thirsty old retired guy but mainly because your hips , back,neck ,legs but mostly my bladder……..dont like all the driving and they belong to an old retired guy.
Sometimes as you travel across our great nation, you have to boondock………which basically means you are too cheap or too broke to stay at a campground….or….perhaps your travels have happy hour landing nowhere near a campground…..this is fine by us as we are seasoned campers with a well stocked liquor cabinet AND Fritos!!! We pulled into a dispersed camping area who’s blacktop gave way to gravel……which gave way to ruts and washboard that threatened to upend the liquor cabinet!!!!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!!!!! …..Karen found what looked like a camp site on Google maps….and went down the road on foot to confirm we weren’t driving into a phone booth……..with an RV…you want room to maneuver……….remember that…….
Karen called on the cell and proclaimed “I think this will work….it looks like you have enough room to turn around down here
I snaked down the road surrounded by a thicket of jagger bushes……EVERY bush in Arizona is a jagger bush which perhaps helps control invading out of staters just like the lack of a Cheesecake Factory in Wyoming does
The clearing at first glance appeared to be a little tight…..when I exited the truck and stood back ….looking at the Mc5er……..and the lot started to look Iike
Now many well seasoned RVers can turn around on a postage stamp….I can not……Karen is to be applauded for keeping her cool while I laced together a string of profanities that would make a longshoreman blush.
I backed up….and I got out of the truck to look at which boulder I was about to run over……..I did this approximately 436 times….each time peppered with a flurry of curse words………..I am extremely immature………….Karen on the other hand tried to console me….with positive comments……..and I was an ass……sorry Karen….again…….
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On attempt 435 I felt like …………
A Young couple arrived in a Prius and tried to stifle a snicker as I finally Extracted the Mc5er from the boulder field!!!! With my pride sorta intact …and only a few scratches in the RV and truck fender we waved farewell as the guy extolled my driving abilities……….yeah right…..he probably has a blog about stupid people too!!!!!
Next on the hit parade was Otis with some sort of digestive issue that allowed him to coat his body from ankle to butt with a thick brown smelly smear of dog poop!!!! Have you ever tried to wash a 65 pound dogs ass in a RV shower that is smaller than a postage stamp???????
HIGHLY unrecommended!!!!
And last but not least
Batting third and playing left field #3 ……….. Mr You Got Screwed!!!
As we approached Phoenix……Karen tried to reach the manager of the rental house via text/ email………….radio silence……….never a good sign…..Karen reached the REAL manager and we were informed that we were scammed !!! Long story short………we were out our $$$$ AND WORSE YET………we had no landing spot for Crappy Hour!!!!!!!
Our contact Robert Fishperson*** voice didn’t sound like a someone who worked on a fishing boat………or even a Cool Jewish dude from New York!!! He sounded like!!!!!!!!
Not George….but….he sounded like Ravi Shankar!!!!!!
Karen had expressed concern from her first communication with Robert Fishperson *** But I was so excited that Karen found this great spot…….I think I talked both of us into ignoring the signs…….but hey that’s life…………sometimes you’re the club and sometimes you’re the ball
We had great luck thanks to our friend Karen who let us stay at her house until we find other accommodations ……….Karen will have great Karma………and lets hope that Robert Fishperson*** has truly crappy Karma
Go out today and create some good Karma for yourself by being kind to a friend or better yet a stranger………surprising a stranger with a kind deed is even more fun!!!!
*** Name changed to Fishperson by the Diversity and Inclusion Committee
Round the bend 