We needed to go camping , like a back alley junkie…needs a fix ………..
……alright………maybe that’s a bit overstated…….But Karen, a proud Wyoming native her whole life of 37 years and myself a wanna be native who arrived at 19 years old…..which at the time was about what my IQ was……….we were jonesing * we needed the outdoors! After spending two months around Apache Junction and Sun Lakes with its laidback “resort” feel ,we still needed to get away from all the people!!!!!!
Off to AJ we go to retrieve the Mc5er from storage!!!After trying to remember how to hook the @^&&(^7& thing up for 20 minutes I finally remembered my “duties”…..you see in the RVing world the bulk of the population is couples…….oh god call the pc police I’m sure I just offended all the single RVers……or the ones traveling with 3.2 kids and a dog named Benji ….
my apologies to all the RVers who wear their epidermis on the inside of their bodies.
Anyway each half of the team has important duties , During the set up or “unhooking” of the Mc5er for example….Karen first lowers the front jacks until the weight is off the hitch, then Karen unhooks the hitch……I then carefully place the bag of Fritos on the passenger seat to avoid spillage (this would alert Karen that I’m sneaking junk food again) …I carefully pull forward 5-6 feet, place the truck in park, turn ESPN radio back up and get back to work on the Fritos. Karen chocks the tires, drops the rear jack thus leveling our Mc5er! I carefully pull the truck around so Karen doesn’t need to carry the two 75 # Honda generators, gas cans and spare oil very far….After pulling the 3 slides out,setting up the lamps, sweeping the floor and rolling out the rugs ,Karen gets the outdoor ** rug rolled out along with my lawn chair, I then climb ALL THE WAY into the back of the truck to retrieve a beer, climb back down….close that heavy a$$ tailgate……and present Karen with the first sip!!!! RVing……like a great marriage requires working together! A team effort!!
After settling in , Karen suggests a hike!
Being the huge fan of hiking that I am, I started stuffing my pockets full of Fritos and Coors light………..people have starved out there.
As I mentioned before, Az. has two kinds of foliage , foliage that draws blood and that fake grass the rich people have installed in their backyard (because real grass doesn’t like 115 degrees)
Etta and Otis were beyond excited to GO!
The dogs raced to FREEDOM !! ahead and back and left and right with the glee of Andy Dufresne!!
My mind wandered to our Last Will and Testament……trying to recall who would get what if…..if……we didn’t make it……and like most males my mind darted to another random thought….and another ……”do I have enough Fritos? “
“What ever happened to Peggy Lipton?”
“Why are bubbles round”?
Karen remembered our water bottles for the hike and I choked some down at her urging…….I don’t drink enough water ….I don’t even like water in my scotch
We rounded our first bend in the trail….and ran into some dude! He looked familiar
But it was just some random dude with a beard ……..like the other 150,000,000 people who feel the need to be unique by growing a beard
and don’t get me started on being unique by impaling a extremely sensitive body parts with a piece of Stainless Steel or my all time favorite The cranium tattoo !!!!!…
……….sorry…off topic again……like most old people I have a hard time staying focused! NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!!!!
But Az is chock full of cactus….and it can be dangerous out there!!!
Whatever enjoyment there is to hiking……its completely lost when every second…..I mean EVERY second is spent admonishing your dogs “GET OUT OF THERE”! “WHAT ARE YOU EATING?” “SPIT IT OUT!” DROP IT! DROP IT!!!!!!!!!! “DON’T EAT THE CACTUS!!!!!!!!
Fortunately they refuse to sit still when you try and remove the cactus!
So you
Get
This
But sometimes ya discover stuff ya never knew existed
Get out and do some social distancing !!! Who knows maybe you’ll channel your inner botany gene like me or discover a new cereal !!!!!
*
** An outdoor rug is required when ya go outside but you don’t want to be sooooo “outside” that you are actually standing on DIRT. I don’t get it either…….that’s just the way it is
#1 Lighting and sound towers at the August 1969 Woodstock Music and Arts Festival
#2 Shawshank Redemption ….main character Andy , longs for freedom
#3 1968’s TV show The Mod Squad
#4 NOT OUR FRIEND Jermey….just some dude with a beard
Round the bend 