DON’T….Just throw yourself in front of a bus and get it over with.
Now many might say…I’m a man of zero patience . I can say in all honesty that may be too kind of an assessment.
I will however say that I think I’m as reasonable as the next guy ( OH MY!!!! I meant to say person NOT guy…I’m so sorry to all I’ve offended ) when it comes to understanding the constraints of material delays or scheduling snafus . That said I don’t think Ive ever had a contractor that wasn’t the main reason for the bullet wound in their own foot!!!!
I was going to insert a images of a bullet wound to the foot…….but they were soooo disgusting that even I had to pass.
So the plan was to make the yard a bit more dog friendly and also Karen friendly by adding artificial grass and a flagstone seating area. This required the contractor to remove two trees and create a mess and then vanish just like
After contacting the FAA to report the missing contractor… I reviewed the progress out back……holy shyt!!!
The twins Otis and Etta..
Were chomping at the bit to investigate the “oh so tempting barren DIRT!!!!!!!“
Amelia showed back up 4 days after contacting us to say he’d be by in the morning!!!!!WTH!!!!
Some of the examples of the miscommunication on this project cant be made up…its TOOO out there
I spray painted the outline of the setting area…….twice! The crew erased it by raking the rocks around……I cornered Amelia and said put it here!!!!! I painted the outline once again while he watched….Karen reiterated……”between the two drip systems heads, right here where this BLACK PAINT is” OK?…..Amelia : Si , yes,it’s ok,Si ,yes
It’s not like they put the flag stone down in the next door neighbors yard…..but its pretty close to being that far off in my mind………. it was 8 feet to the right…….EIGHT FEET to the right is a LOT considering the seating area we want is only 10’ diameter …I do understand its not heart surgery ….but 8’ right of center is like opening up someone’s shin to work on their heart….this caused me to start thinking about getting early with happy hour….then Karen had a brilliant idea….offer the crew a beer…and ask them to move it!!!! 9 beers later they were calibrating their level by using it to screed the dirt……not exactly the way to treat a level…….but I’m sure I’ve done worse….without 9 beers..
Amelia moved the flagstone ..but only 4 feet! So now the sprinkler head is in the middle of the seating area!!!After considerable negotiation by Karen the contractor assured us that after he cut the riser and buried the 1/4” drip lines it would be fine. My thoughts returned to the 47 bicycle trips for sprinkler parts to the local Ace hardware which is only two miles away and we are in Az which is flat for the most part. But somehow the wind always blows in your face regardless of the direction of travel. I guess I should be thankful for the forced exercise
Maybe it was unrealistic for me to expecting the crew to avoid the heads that I meticulously dug up and marked so they’d be able to see the direction of travel for new branches. After replacing one head 7 times
because it happened to be in the area where the operator liked to pop wheelies in the Bob Cat to show off to his bros…I lost my shit
After my tantrum Karen gently explained that perhaps the contractors expect to destroy the drip system to some degree during construction and just deal with the repair part at the end of the project……….I hate it when she is soooooo spot on….and I’m an idiot
The contractor (Amelia) tried and succeeded in one upping my stupidity by leaving his unlicensed Bob Cat trailer in front of our house for nearly the time it took Noah to fab up the Arc. I had mentioned that the HOA “Patrol”
Gets VERY testy when it comes to trailers left on the road side, sure enough three days AFTER Amelia promised to help me with the drip lines and remove the trailer the “Patrol” put a “REMOVE this pile of crap” sticker on the trailer….I’m sure I’m in the doghouse with Patrol now and can expect citations for my rocks out front not being all the same diameter ….just the first of many fabricated transgressions to come
Fortunately Amelia showed up and removed the trailer under the cloak of darkness
In the end after 14 more Home Depot runs, Karen and I had the outdoor space we envisioned……..and most of all the Hounds were happy!!!
The contractor did a good job….and just behaved like any contractor……I was stupid to have thought he would behave in any other way…….I’m sure there is a class they have’ta take that teaches them to show up late….disappear for days on end…..forget the agreed upon scope of work and smile a lot while saying “sure no problem,si no problemo “
Over and over
Round the bend 